Word: crowleys
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State Sen. John Crowley expressed fears that the legislation would lead to an increase in homosexuality, as though the state was granting gay and lesbian couples special treatment and lucrative benefits. Since the bill grants nothing more than the rights that opposite-sex married couples enjoy, Crowley need not fear that heterosexuals will seek civil unions when they can just as easily marry a member of the opposite sex. Government conservatives such as Crowley should not allow their homophobic prejudices cloud their judgement in granting constitutional rights to their constituents...
...then it happened: Crowley spotted Roger Ebert. "You're going to show it to me right now?" Ebert, still in his coat, asked as two of the aliens thrust speakers on either side of his face. They started the trailer, but Ebert was far more concerned with the dwindling battery power of the digital camera he was using to record this spectacle for his own website. Finally, mercifully, the trailer ended. Ebert congratulated the happy aliens, who spent the next 15 minutes beaming. "This is a new high," Ebert said under his breath as he walked away...
...Dance. After a few promising minutes, though, SMTA!!! became a mess of dull, endless, off-color jokes. By the movie's climax, about a third of the audience had left, and those remaining (family? friends? people who were sexually probed by aliens?) weren't laughing. In the end, Crowley didn't win the award for best picture or best director. But the aliens did get the nod for "Best Guerrilla Marketing...
...Crowley returned to New York and went back to his iMac, trimming the movie down by dumping some of the its clunkier gags. Two distributors who saw the film in Park City have expressed interest in it, he says, along with StreamSearch, a new Web company that wants to make SMTA!!! a pay-per-view feature film on the Web. "It's a whole new playing field," Crowley says...
Right now Crowley doesn't have a job; he's living off savings and looking for a cheaper apartment. But that surely won't last long--not in these heady, anyone-can-do-it-himself times. "Everyone in the world knows that pretty soon everything is going to be done through the Internet, including watching film," Crowley says. "I guess we came in at a good time." A good time indeed. Because in a few more years, everyone will be so busy making movies, there won't be any audience left to watch them...