Word: crystallizing
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...video for “Crystal,” the first single off Ready, is a play on viewers’ perceptions and expectations of the music video form. It shows a young, hip, rock band playing on a stage with flashing neon colors, as the group thrashs away on guitars and keyboards. The boyish lead singer dances and sings spasmodically; it could be any cutting edge, industry-created rock band. But as the video ends, roadies or studio workers (?) come and snatch the instruments away from these young rockers, unplug the amplifiers and monitors, and attempt to carry...
...return and a departure for New Order, similar to an aging author who rediscovers traditional narrative and finds a simple beauty in telling a straight-forward story. The music is less dance-oriented and techno-laden than any previous New Order creation. The first three tracks, “Crystal,” “60 Miles an Hour” (the second single) and “Turn My Way” with guest vocals by New Order admirer (and former Smashing Pumpkins frontman) Billy Corgan are forthright rock songs with snarling basslines from Hook, quixotic and affected...
...hairless green ogre, however, but the esteemed James P. Sullivan, nicknamed “Sulley” (John Goodman)—a genial hulk with long blue fur and purple spots, always accompanied by his loyal but absent-minded Scare Assistant, Mike Wakowski (Billy Crystal), who resembles a one-eyed green pea. Both work for Monsters, Incorporated—an energy plant in the well-run township of Monstropolis, managed by a certain Henry J. Waternoose (James Coburn), who scuttles around on his many legs lamenting the energy crisis. Monstropolis, it turns out, runs on children?...
There was more, including a page of thoughtful dildo reviews. The “Venus Wrap” is a “bright pink wishbone with not one but two pleasing prongs.” The “Deluxe Crystal Wand” is great for “probing the spot I love the most—the G-spot. It allows you to reach your happy place with finesse and pressure, just as hard as you like.” The “Twist” is a leather arm binder...
Also, get someone up there on the PA system we can actually understand. The PA announcer during the games is crystal clear, there’s no reason one of the 100 of you can’t be at least intelligible