Word: cuba
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Dates: during 1873-1873
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...Call from old-time Freshman friend; nearly bursting with news; however, does not burst. Wants us to go to Cuba with him in Uncle's blockade runner; interpreter needed; six weeks of Spanish verbs ought to be good enough for Cuba; we assent. Question arises about softening Faculty; Freshman has got off on account of religious scruples concerning required rhetoric. Some new dodge eminently necessary. At Freshman's suggestion sit up forty-eight hours reading diamond Tupper, take a good look at the sun, and go to see the Dean. Dean says "No," and a public for insolence; learning...
...Cuba! We write a letter home, enclosing will. Freshman gets his head shaved, and despatches by express eleven locks of hair (his hair). Embark on blockade-runner. Presented with cutlasses and sworn in. Bearded patriot shows us over our seaworthy craft for two reis. A stanch Clyde-built steamer, English bottom, long, low, rakish hull, B. No. 3. Interrupted by pistol-boom from quarter-deck, we weigh anchor (4000 lbs., more or less). We lend a hand, which is blistered. Observe mysterious stranger sorting papers in the shadow of a warehouse. Freshman fires, does not drop...
...night succeeds to day on day. Provisions begin to run low in the locker. Freshman suggests eating one another; being small, we object, on the ground that cannibalism is inconsistent with the true spirit of Christianity. At length, land, ho! Breakers; have to wade ashore. Kiss the soil of Cuba. Hunt for tortoise; find hen's-nest in bushes, - eat it (the contents). Tool-chest washed ashore; throw up intrenchments and feel better. Burrow in sand, for fear of wild beasts; do not altogether escape...
...recognize our ancient enemy of New York. He carries papers in his hand. We are scared, but unintimidated. Get him inside the intrenchment; stamp on him. Examine his papers, - O shame! they are tracts. Swear thus to treat all invaders of the free soil of Cuba. Mysterious stranger says it is n't Cuba, it's Patchoughe, Long Island, and he 's a colporteur, and we are children of wrath. Band (three men and a reporter) advance and corroborate; also arrest us for vagrancy. Loathsome Bastiles. Bailed out by colporteur, who proves to be connected by marriage with Freshman...
...chew. All waltz. Knapsacks not so heavy as they were. Take greased-lightning express at next village. Find ourselves going the wrong way. Don't care. Arrive home 11.30. Mangled by pet bull-dog. Four hundred and fifty miles in three days, not so bad! Mean to walk to Cuba next summer...