Word: custards
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...sinister nature of the American soil is apparent in places like Gettysburg, Fertilize it with the blood of heroes, and it brings forth a frozen-custard stand...
Tofu, or bean curd, a custard-like cake made from curdled soybean milk, was a favorite of Taoist priests in ancient China. Now Americans are learning to use the nearly tasteless curd (flavoring must be added) to replace cheese in cheesecake and meat in burgers. A 4-oz. serving of tofu has nearly as much protein as an equal amount of hamburger but fewer calories (150 vs. 237) and no cholesterol. At 99? per lb., it is also cheaper. One large supplier, the New England Soy Dairy, Inc. of Greenfield, Mass., peddled 300 to 500 lbs. of curd a week...
...eating a quiet dinner the other night, counting the peas and carrots in my turkey pot pie, when I noticed that a very burly, almost-rabid lineman was inserting a custard-filled eclair into my right...
...that, he moved the eclair somwhere into my inner ear. Fearing the Harvard-made custard would soon cut off the air supply to my brain and permanently block my aural passageway, I decided I had better oblige my dinner guests...
...look guys," I began, hoping not to provoke my end as a giant custard tube. "You were awesome against Columbia. I admit it. But really, the Lions looked like a bunch of Kindergarteners out for recess-time kickball. You still have to prove yourselves against a real test...