Word: cuteness
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Dates: during 1990-1999
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Translation: "Will you delete that paragraph so we can fit another picture of a cute baby on the front page? And don't forget to capitalize and italicize the caption...
...seems to be shrinking. The sleeper hit of the summer is ABC's Jack's Place, set in a fancy big-city restaurant run by Hal Linden. Though not a Spelling production, it adheres to the classic Love Boat formula: two or three guest stars each week glide through cute, twisty tales of love lost and found. (Last week Robert Guillaume played a Broadway producer upset at a bad review written by a powerful theater critic: his ex-wife.) The show is mindless but inoffensive, and a good deal easier to take than Melrose Place. At least no one tries...
Peter (Alec Baldwin) and Rita (Meg Ryan) have a love too good to be true. He is sensible and cute; she is vague and cute. "Let's get married," he says, almost as soon as he meets her. "O.K.," she says. On their wedding day, an anonymous old man (Sydney Walker) gives Rita a congratulatory kiss . . . and things start to go sour. On their honeymoon, she doesn't drink; Rita was a Dewar's girl. Before, she was forgetful; now she is an amnesiac. Suddenly she is fastidious in her lovemaking. To Peter, Rita seems another person. Isn't everyone...
...next set confirmed this impression. The opening numbers seemed downright cute by comparison. During one song, a security guard was impaled and carried around the stage. Then Slymenstra Hymen performed a kind of projectile menstruation. Then Oderus Urungus defecated in a bowl and catapulted his shit to the audience member, who dove for it as if they were catching foul balls at Fenway. Then Oderus introduced us to his "girlfriend," a bloody doll pinned to a spinning rack which he dismembered and raped...
During the next three years, orientation week detractors will shake their heads sadly, recalling all the cute Jennys and Kevins that they met that week so long ago and haven't spoken to since...