Word: daharphuni
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...drunken, turquoise-shirted meltdown for new Crimson Key elect and first-time drinker Amir C. Daharphuni ’04. “I am TRASHED!” he exclaimed as he attempted to open the front door to Lowell by sticking his pinky finger in the card swipe slot post-initiation. “Do you like my TIE?” he yelled. “It’s turquoise TOO! HA!” He then yakked on the card swipe machine, rendering it useless and yak-encrusted...
...drunken, turquoise-shirted meltdown for new Crimson Key elect and first-time drinker Amir C. Daharphuni ’04. “I am TRASHED!” he exclaimed as he attempted to open the front door to Lowell by sticking his pinky finger in the card swipe slot post-initiation. “Do you like my TIE?” he yelled to the card swipe machine. “It’s turquoise too! HA!” He then yakked on the card swipe machine, rendering it useless and yak-encrusted...
...Incoming associate editor Amir C. Daharphuni ‘04’s work on the Crimson dining services beat is getting him in deep water with the powers-that-be. Soon after his front-page exposé on hummus was printed, Daharpuni was pinned against the Lowell salad bar by HUDS thugs. “You done stuck your nose where it don’t belong one time too many, boy,” the goons warned as they viciously oversalted his potatoes...
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