Word: daharpuni
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Dates: during 2001-2001
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...Incoming associate editor Amir C. Daharphuni ‘04’s work on the Crimson dining services beat is getting him in deep water with the powers-that-be. Soon after his front-page exposé on hummus was printed, Daharpuni was pinned against the Lowell salad bar by HUDS thugs. “You done stuck your nose where it don’t belong one time too many, boy,” the goons warned as they viciously oversalted his potatoes...
...Applied Math major Amir C. Daharpuni ’04 wasn’t pleased with his performance at a recent Phoenix lunch. “If conversational contributions were tallied and displayed in a pie chart, my contribution would be, like, nothing,” he complained...
...Arriving hungry at a punch outing Saturday morning, Amir J. Daharpuni ‘04 unknowingly consumed three very pot-laced cookies, washing them down with hefty gulps of the Beam. Later Amir was notified that the cookies were special recipe. “I don’t feel baked,” he muttered over and over to a pile of rocks...
...punch Amir C. Daharpuni ‘04 can’t say he was enticed by the three club officers who spent the event killing goldfish with their hands. Cringed Daharpuni, “I don’t think that’s the proper way to slaughter goldfish...