Word: dandruff
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THIS whole dandruff thing is a perfect example of a ludicrous set of priorities when it comes to personal hygiene. I imagine a group of old men locked up in a smoky room somewhere deciding what is "acceptable" and what is not. Their opinions are instilled in the national consciousness by an overzealous advertising industry itching (no pun intended) to extract a few bucks by fabricating social insecurities...
Every time I consider rebelling against the oppression of Tegrin and Head & Shoulders, I think back to those commercials where "baseball star Jim Palmer" gets hysterical over "embarassing flakes and itching." I mean, if dandruff can knock this guy out of the running, where do I stand...
...fury against the dandruff-shampoo conspiracy never subsides. Not only is dandruff shampoo humiliating and outrageously expensive, the stuff actually damages your hair. Modeling agencies won't even let their clients...
...fear of the dandruff police compels me to use it. I am not alone, either. All four shampoo bottles in my shower promise "relief from itching and flaking." One roommate, whose girlfriend wouldn't dump him even if he suddenly sprouted a third nostril, still uses the stuff religiously. ("Gosh, if she notices flakes, it's all over.") My roommate Rocco, who sports a bald spot the size of Australia (thanks to my unpolished hair-cutting skills) is certain that flakes will doom his hopes at romance...
...doesn't have to be that way. We can fight back. We can boycott dandruff shampoos. We can hold candlelight vigils and demonstrations in the Yard. We can sponsor a "Dandruff Pride Day" and a "Flaky Scalp Awareness Week...