Word: darning
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With their limited budgets, they certainly wouldn't have made The New York Times bestseller list. They probably wouldn't have even been reviewed. But Harper-Collins is going to make darn sure that doesn't happen to any of their authors...
Others tinker more creatively with the familiar noir premise of treachery getting its just deserts. In Backfire (Showtime) the wife of a disturbed Vietnam vet plots to drive him crazy so he'll attempt suicide. He obliges only to the extent of lapsing (darn the luck) into a catatonic state, which is only the beginning of the wife's comeuppance. In Buried Alive (USA) another scheming housewife (Jennifer Jason Leigh) conspires with her doctor lover to bump off her husband with poison. Again the plan goes awry: she gives him too small a dose, and the authorities only think...
...Francisco the chief irritant is a band of 15 or so perpetrators whose nom de guerre is Those Darn Accordions! and who charge kamikaze-style into restaurants, wreaking indigestion on helpless customers with deafening choruses of Lady of Spain. T.D.A.! even threatened to "play" in city hall but was prevented from doing so when engineers warned that the building might collapse from excessive vibration. Instead, it was the board of supervisors that collapsed. "One of the things I love about San Francisco," said T.D.A. ! accordionist J. Raoul Brody, "is that a bunch of dopes like us can get together...
...Derek Bok lobby in Washington, that would darn well have some influence," Dyer says. "Or, I think if ROTC got kicked off one-fourth of the campuses in the country, the policy would have to change...
Answer: Five. One to tell the Lampoon's agent to do it, and four to sit around and pat each other on the back for being so darn funny...