Word: darren
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...always an embarrassment when a movie earns less than the low-ball figures its executives publicly predict. The Vampire's Assistant, envisioned as the launch of a franchise based on Darren Shan's horror-romance books, came with the creative pedigree of director Paul Weitz (American Pie, About a Boy, In Good Company) and Oscar-winning screenwriter Brian Helgeland (L.A. Confidential). Its distributor had a modest goal: "If it comes in with double digits," said Universal's Nikki Rocco, "that will be a win for us." Instead, it cadged just $6.3 million. Expect no sequels du Freak...
Based on the first three books of a 12-part fantasy series by Darren Shan, who lends his name to the protagonist, “Cirque du Freak” is a world glaringly divided between ill-at-ease paranormal teens and charming adult mutants. This former clique constantly threatens to pull the production into the black hole of young-adult drivel...
...main storyline chronicles the dissolution of the close friendship between the straitlaced and ultra-successful Darren and the rebellious, insecure Steve (Josh Hutcherson). Each teen deals with his own emotional baggage: Darren fends off the suffocation of his upper-middle class suburban milieu and his father’s chant of “College! Job! Family!” while Steve copes with an absent father and an alcoholic mother...
...after the best friends attend a freak show, steal a rare and deadly spider, and run away from home, they become mortal enemies and join the long dormant war between the good and evil vampire sects: the Vampires and the Vampaneze. Darren casts off his Sperry topsiders in exchange for a red leather jacket, joins the freak show, and meets the inevitable circus love interest. While Darren woos his half-monkey, half-frumpy high-school freakheart, Steve joins the dark side and starts killing former teachers. When their final dramatic confrontation takes place, Steve explains to Darren with comic seriousness...
...lady who falls into deep clairvoyant trances, uttering “disaster” and “destruction” in cryptic tones only to promptly return to consciousness and perkily ask, “What did I say?” Truska is engaging and whimsical where Darren and Steve are ponderous and uncomfortable, and Weitz does a wonderful job combining the character’s vaudevillian lingerie and spontaneous beard-growth. The little-known Cerveris—most recognizable as The Observer on Fox’s popular drama, “Fringe?...