Word: dartboardã
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There is simply no limit to the problems that could be “solved” by increased oversight and coordination—and by appointing a Dean. This has Dartboard??and should have everyone who likes to see Harvard tuition stay somewhere south of the $40K mark—quite worried...
...When Dartboard??s parents got married, they did the sensible thing. Dartboard??s mom kept her last name, and Dartboard got his dad’s last name. The name “Slack” has served him well on everything from SAT forms to résumés to job applications. Never has he been forced to bubble in only part of his last name for want of spaces...
...shuttle pulled away. All was well in Dartboard-land, until some fraction of a second later, pothole number one passed beneath, then two and three. With each one, Dartboard??s vintage (read: rusty) Schwinn bounced violently. No, this was no easier way to get home; Dartboard??s fears of an evening bike ride down Garden Street were replaced with visions of his turquoise beauty jarring loose from its perilous mount and being crushed under the wheels of a crimson and white beast...
...until the bright lights of Currier were in sight did Dartboard??s heart rate begin to return to normal. Stretch, release, slip, heave, pull and lift: Dartboard??s wheels were free, and he was home safely for the night but still pondering what his next nighttime modus transporandi would be. But the novelty and convenience of the racks have been so addicting that Dartboard finds himself using them again and again—although still sweating it out each time. And while the chipper folks at transportation services confirm they’ve never lost...
Perhaps some would say that Dartboard??s despair is a little over-the-top, but she has heard the same cries from others. Cereal is the one beacon of hope lying between you and that pathetic food in the vat before you. It’s purpose? That you may have one moment of dietary joy to light up your ever-so-banal existence...