Word: dartboard
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...hovering over the horizon like a fiery orange UFO as Dartboard made his way to 6 p.m. Gov. section. There was a note on the door: “Section will be held outside, so we can take advantage of the great weather!” Thinking the exclamation point was a bit too much, Dartboard made his way outside, anticipating staying awake for all of section (for once) thanks to the anti-soporific effects of the cool evening breeze...
...Dartboard couldn’t avert his eyes as a full foot of flesh (among the three of them) stared him square in the face. Their low-rise jeans, pushed even lower by their vain attempts to fit into clothes evidently sized for their pop idols, were hiked up just enough to show some modesty while standing up. But the mechanics of sitting had changed them into exhibitionists. Dartboard’s eyes were burning...
...Harvard community, though progressive in many aspects, has not yet accepted those who, like Dartboard, have made the choice to openly embrace their love for Red Bull. Dartboard still gets stares and snickers when he goes to CVS to pick up his weekly supply of sugar-free. Concerned friends cite vague “statistics,” which “prove” that Red Bull...
...quite frankly, if Dartboard doesn’t drink Red Bull, how else is he supposed to get enough energy to make it through the day? Dartboard could use other forms of caffeine, but if he’s gonna go, why shouldn’t he go all out? Plus, sleep is overrated, time-consuming and much more addictive than any energy drink. The fact is, Red Bull is simply too wonderful to let silly considerations of alleged “adverse effects” get between it and Dartboard...
Unfortunately, it would appear that the world isn’t quite ready for Dartboard and his kind. Dartboard thinks his next step should be to begin the fight for social tolerance, but first he’ll go ahead and grab another Red Bull...