Word: dartboard
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...Then Dartboard got an idea...
...Dartboard got to sit down a couple days ago in his DHA sweats and have a good ponder about some issues facing Fair Harvard—specifically, University President Lawrence H. Summers’ plans for expansion and the less-than-healthy tension between Cambridge and our university. As we know, the Quad is no longer enough to satiate the Harvard housing monster, and since those ungrateful commie Cantabrigians won’t yield any land, the University may need to exile students to Allston—all the way across the Charles. But students won’t want...
...some might question the feasibility of Dartboard’s insensitive, failed-out-of-the-Kennedy-School solution. After all, it’s doubtful that being “rivered” is any more appealing to residents of Cambridge than it is to most Harvard students. But Dartboard is at least doing something that those steering our University aren’t: coming up with creative solutions to the space crunch and the tensions between Harvard and Cambridge that don’t involve further decentralization of the campus. So while Dartboard’s solution isn?...
...grumbled when they got wind of the rumor that former Fletcher University Professor Cornel R. West ’74 had expressed an interest in voicing the role of Nemo in Finding Nemo, maybe the Department of African and African American Studies would be one luminary heavier today. (Dartboard is sure the performance wouldn’t have been nearly as fishy as West’s turns in the last two Matrix flicks.) Kiss Marxist metaphysics goodbye: it’s time for Merrie Melodies in Cambridge...
...Still, Dartboard knows that his dream is not to be: when they turn their backs on the dimensions of physical reality, Harvard’s thinkers prefer the rarefied murk of theories upon theories to the comforting tones and loony hijinks of cartoons. Meep, meep...