Word: dartboard
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...Dartboard can summon no such pity for the vast majority of that growling, racing bunch: the transplanted natives of the rest of the world, who seem to have picked up a fanatical devotion to the Yale of the baseball diamond along with their study cards and room keys. To them, Dartboard has the tersest of advice: give...
Recently inspecting a map of Harvard Square and its surrounds, Dartboard decided to empirically investigate a matter that had been gnawing at his mind for some time. Measuring the distance from the Leverett towers to the Science Center with Dartboard’s thumbs, Dartboard was surprised to learn that while that distance was spanned by the width of seven thumbs, not even a single thumb separated Leverett’s towers from Mather’s ugly slab...
...often Dartboard’s Matherite friends lament the distance that separates them from campus! They were “Mather than hell” when they first learned of their fate in the housing lottery last spring and they still begrudge Dartboard and his blockmates for getting lotteried into Leverett...
...Dartboard urges them to examine a map as Dartboard has done and desist in their whining. Leverett’s towers are so proximate to Mather that if Dartboard were to fall out of his own first floor window, Dartboard would not be surprised to find himself in Mather’s courtyard...
Perhaps, when Leverites want to return from weekend debaucheries in Mather, a Mather-Leverett shuttle should be ready and waiting to transport them across the endless expanses between the two houses. Actually, no, there shouldn’t. Dartboard was being facetious. And Matherites are being babies...