Word: dartboard
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...Dartboard thinks that interhouse dining restrictions are unjust. And from the nightly ritual of students clamoring to eat in Adams House Country Club, it’s clear that the rest of the barbarians agree...
...Dartboard has come up with a solution that every Harvard liberal will love: Put interhouse restrictions to a Rawlsian vote. Until late March, next year’s first-years will inhabit Harvard behind a veil of ignorance, unaware of either their endowments as privileged Adamsians or their impending exile to the Quad. Balancing overcrowding fears with the threat of being in the crowd that gets unceremoniously thrown out the door, these first-years should vote yea or nay, whether dining hall segregation should be a relic of the past...
Unable to wash the night of the incident, Dartboard bathed the following morning, still distracted by the shower’s various splatterings. Those swollen bottles full of white and creamy bath product were now quite difficult to use, those random stains on the shower floor now needed to be avoided. All this was very hard on Dartboard...
...Dartboard is not alone in her frustrations. Whether on the floor, in a stall, in a tub or on top of a sink, bathroom acts of sexile have aroused anger in many an undergrad’s roommate. Walk into any dining hall, and you’ll probably find an argument swelling between the clean, satiated roommate and the dirty, disgruntled...
...Though Dartboard understands the pleasure obtained by lather and loving, rinsing off in a tainted shower is a pain no one should endure unwillingly. This weekend’s Mather Lather will draw hordes of excited undergrads to frolic within foam, and Dartboard asks lathering lovebirds to stay out of our stalls. Let’s keep it clean...