Word: dartboard
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However in the spirit of being over-serious—in a quintessentially Harvard way—Dartboard thinks it necessary to point out that the Commission is missing an easy target: the promises and vows made by the candidates in their platforms...
Considering that the Election Commission essentially functions only for one week out of the year, Dartboard is more than confident that they will expand their power somewhere down the road. Dartboard would certainly feel a lot safer if there were not so many unauthorized and unregulated promises being tossed about during election season...
...been often remarked that awkwardness is endemic to Harvard: most people lack any sort of normal social skills and a good portion of our time here is wasted in painful, and very strained, silence. Dartboard proposes that this can be solved by...appointing a Dean...
When Dartboard’s parents got married, they did the sensible thing. Dartboard’s mom kept her last name, and Dartboard got his dad’s last name. The name “Slack” has served him well on everything from SAT forms to résumés to job applications. Never has he been forced to bubble in only part of his last name for want of spaces...
...Dartboard wants his generation to recognize its responsibility to end this nominative madness. Split up your kids—half get dad’s name, half get mom’s. Or condense the hyphenated names into some sort of acronym (in the second example above, Mary’s last name could be Elbo). Or flip a coin ‘fer crissakes.’ There’s no easy solution other than marrying a family member, but a solution has to be found. Just don’t saddle your young’uns with...