Word: dartboard
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...Dartboard is saddened by the fate of broadcasting great Marv Albert. Two weeks ago Marv plead guilty to misdemeanor charges of assault and battery, putting an end to the trial which held him accused of biting and sexually assaulting 42-year-old Vanessa Perhach. Marv was promptly fired by NBC. Dartboard believes that the trial was a sham and that the network's action was an injustice...
Considering the obvious uncertainty of Marv's actual criminal guilt, Dartboard considers NBC's action to be highly inappropriate. All that we know for sure is that Marv liked his sex a little kinky. Many people on this campus would probably be a lot happier if they followed Marv's example. We say to NBC, re-hire Marv. Only then will Lady Justice cry, "Yesss...
This bitter truth was brought home for Dartboard while heading to New York in honor of Rosh Hashannah, the first of two holidays focused on repentance. Our formerly Israeli cab driver had a lovely chat with us about attending religious services for the holiday. Once at Logan Airport, our cabbie informed us of a curious new tradition--charging the passenger for the cabbie's ride back alone to Cambridge. Dartboard had no time to quibble; we suffered our rip-off quietly...
...return taxi ride to campus was even more unpleasant. The cab driver was not only offensively aggressive in grabbing our bag while we walked toward another cab, but he was abusive when it came time to pay. He insisted that Dartboard owed him for a base charge to Kirkland House what Dartboard paid last year (extra generous tip included) to ride all the way to Hurlbut Hall...
...rough month ahead for those of us at Dartboard. Some of us will be up early tomorrow morning, doing our damnedest to prove we are skilled in analytic and logical reasoning on the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT). Others will find themselves with hours of circle-filling-fun later this month at the GRE's. But the one thing we all have in common is that none of us will be taking these tests at Harvard. That's right, well before eight o'clock in the morning we'll be heading off to other local colleges-UMass Boston, Northeastern...