Word: dats
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...banquet. Convicts were killed by their own parents. In (none too authentic) pidgin English, dusky King Holiday confided to a client whose "factories" he kept well stocked with slaves: "All captains come to river tell me you king and you big mans stop we trade, and s'pose dat true, what we do? ... We law is, s'pose some of we child go bad and we no can sell 'em, we father must kill dem own child. And s'pose trade be done, we must kill too much child same...
...takes it to San Francisco, where he blunders into polite society. The slick city men hornswoggle him when he plays the stock market. But, finally, by virile tactics, he gets even with them and marches out of their office with a big black bag containing $3,000,000. Then dat ole debbil Burning Daylight says to his sweetheart (Mrs. Milton Sills, the onetime Doris Kenyon): "Let's go back to Alaska." And, three guesses and no fair peeking, who wrote the original story...
...Help Lovin' Dat Man" from Show Boat-Jerome Kern...
...interview with Golfer Bobby Jones, aged one, in a lavatory. Pleased with himself, Mr. Lardner then interviews Horace Greeley in a bathtub. Toward the end of the book a Laplander lands in his lap. They marry and live in Gluten, N. Y. Divorce ensues. Queen Marie sings "Dat watahmelyon hangin' on de vine." He marries a Swiss called Geezle. He reforms the theatre by undressing the audience. In the last chapter, not without justice, he dies fishing for hake, suggesting posthumously and provocatively that it was stomach hake...
...Xmas, Inc., dat's me," said Herman. "Dey say you can't get sump'n fer nuthin' around here but dat's de bunk. Looka wot I got fer a lot o' lousy little saucers...