Word: deah
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...Weejuns on his feet and Calvin Klein underwear to cover his ass." The Comic-Strip Effect: "Whack-whack-whack-whack -- And suddenly it was in his hands, a great living thing that pumped and pulsed against his palms, pushing them back and forth. (nonononononono)." The Burlesque Locution: " 'Good ahfternyoon, deah lady,' Richie said in his best Baron Butthole Voice. 'I am in diah need of three tickey-tickies to youah deah old American flicktoons.' " The Fancy Juxtaposition: epigraphs from Virgil and Mean Streets. The Self-Deflating Jape: "I am . . . the only survivor of a dying planet. I have come...
...closer, a merciless debunking of Britain's heroic World War II effort Listening to Dame Myra Hess (a scraggly gray wig accomplishes this transformation) play the moonlight sonata in those courageous British Museum Concerts, a veddy upper matron advises her son, "This music was written by a German, deah. That's something you'll have to work out for yourself." Funny thing, war. The review also gets its licks at the Royal Family, the English way of death, the Establishment, Bertrand Russell, the Bomb, and Will Shakespeare...
Once upon a time, after de third millenium since de foundin ob Heaven, de Lawd and all his advisory Boa'd of Seraphim sat 'roun in a big smoke-filled room which was kep' ventilated by some angels flapping deah wings. "Peter," said de Lawd, "You is de Chairman ob Admission and Angelships. What's dis ah hear about obercrowdin' ob de heavenly palaces...
...Hmmm," say de Lawd, and all de Seraphim put down deah cigars to listen. Dis made de angels happy cause dey was gettin mighty tired flapping deah wings and was hoping de Lawd would install automatic air-conditioning. "Hmmm," say de Lawd again, "De old Piety Test has got to go. Wid de permission of de Boa'd, ah'd like to pass a miracle. Dis is gwine be a restricting miracle on de Piety Test Rules, Miracle I, Section fifty-nine: 'Salvation by piety, dat is our aim.' Let de clause now read: 'Salvation by piety and extra-curricular...
...byplay out of the rehearsal of a play by a British rural repertory company. The play itself is a rather improbable confection called Tarnished Gold, in which most of the characters seem to be named Jeffrey and Reggie and most of the dialogue seems to consist of "dahling" and "deah boy." Rehearsals are almost at a standstill because the aggressive authoress (Margaret Rutherford) is at loggerheads with the director (Robert Morley), who is at odds with the cast and crew. Additional complications set in when the director falls into the orchestra pit and the authoress takes over his job. Curtain...