Word: decaf
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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Gore's stand-in is Warren Christopher, the man who put the elder in statesman. He's so dull, he ordered Irish coffee during a layover at Shannon Airport with the instruction, "Hold the whiskey, and make it decaf." His very presence undercuts former Secretary of State James Baker's dire warnings that if we persist in this crazy "unconstitutional" recount, markets will collapse, world leaders will wobble and general mischief will abound. In Baker's view, the bipartisan counters are secret croupiers itching to stack the deck. There are more surveillance cameras than in a Las Vegas casino...
...riff on Gore picking winners and losers and having to hire all kinds of new IRS agents - well, that was good stuff. But in the two-way shots, where Bush is waiting for Gore to finish his answer, he keeps sighing and smirking and looking around. Try the decaf! Still, this has been W.'s best moment...
ALAN KEYES Polls, reports find perennially outraged candidate picking up steam. But try the decaf...