Word: demonizations
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First things first. After toying with the Wildcats for the first nine minutes, the Crimson unleashed a demon in Max von Zuben. Playing for the last time at Ohiri field, the senior tallied three strikes in a span of 4:29, racing his team to a 6-1 lead at the end of the first period. He finished with a career-high seven goals--two short of a team record--and now has an astounding 12 points in the last two games...
...bastard Demon and whorish Lampoon...
Newspapers screamed. The Pompeii Times: "Julius Caesar killed, Millions Mourn." The Roman Globe: "Nation Shocked by Brutal Deed; Best Friend Brutus Implicated as Well." The Empire Enquirer: "Aliens Possess Caesar, Senate Gores Demon to Death...
...past year, Reebok has been selling a women's running shoe with a name--Incubus--that inspires fear rather than fleetness. Incubus is a mythical demon that rapes sleeping women. Reebok says no one has complained; in fact, the shoe has sold better than expected...
David Letterman wasn't cut out for the Crimson comp, so we at Dartboard sent him over to Demon. (He wouldn't bother to be seen over that Bow St. social organization which occasionally publishes a not-so-humorous humor magazine.) But since Letterman's not writing for Dartboard, we had to make our own top-nine list of columns we could have written but didn...