Word: dewitte
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EVERYONE KNOWS THAT DEWITT loves to party, but few are aware of his more serious side. Many nights, long after the cheese dip has curdled and the half-empty highballs have been infected with stray cigarette butts, after the last guest has either gone home or passed out, Dewitt engages in his secret passion: creating life from nothingness...
Late into the night Dewitt struggles, working without pause on the far side of the rotating bookshelf that hides his laboratory. Occasionally he may pause for a brief demonic cackle, but apart from that it's work, work, work...
Unlike most mad scientists, however, Dewitt's object is not to conquer the world with zombies brought back from the grave, nor to steal the brain of a buxom virgin; no, Dewitt aims much higher than those petty goals. His intention is to fuse the breath of life into the lost casualties of Hollywood...
Call it poor lab safety techniques, call it contaminated chemicals, call it what you will, but last night Dewitt was working on the unsalvageable 1970 film l, Monster when the decinemadroxylase began to fibrilate--the rushes began to fade--everything was going black--Dewitt knew he was in trouble...
When he awoke amidst the rubble of lab benches Dewitt's eyes were greeted by a strange sight. It was hard to describe...sort of like a cross between Motown, Saturday Night Live and low-budget horror films. Consulting his dog-eared copy of Halliwell's Film Guide, Dewitt quickly identified the unknown quantity...