Word: diaperer
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...Diaper Rush. In Chicago, diaper-service Driver Charles Hankel was delivering a bundle, heard screams, rushed to a nearby apartment, delivered a baby girl...
Like most well-tended babies in the well-tended homes of Westbury, N.Y., brown-haired Peter Weinberger was sleeping off his midday bottle when his mother stepped into the house for a fresh diaper one afternoon last week. Fifteen minutes later, Beatrice Weinberger walked outside and found that 32-day-old Peter had been kidnaped. On the ground was a neatly written note demanding $2,000 ransom, to be placed near a neighbor's garage. Wrote the kidnaper: "I'm scared stiff. Do not notify the police until noon tomorrow or I'll be forced to kill...
Like Jerking Sodas. Bob Krauss, the second youngest of seven children in Kansas, had never cooked, changed a diaper, made up a feeding formula, or burped a baby. Before taking over Patience Dion's chores, he spent a day watching her performance, gaining the children's confidence and taking copious notes. "I had to have a dry run," he explained. "Most women have nine months to get ready for a child. I had one weekend to get ready for four...
After the fourth day, desperation crept into the column: "First thing this morning, the John in the kids' bathroom got stopped up. Everybody had to use Mommy's and Daddy's. This is like rerouting rush-hour traffic over a goat path." Baby Ned had developed diaper rash, Melina was running a slight temperature. Sally would not eat her oatmeal, and it had looked like rain; so the wash had to be hung in the garage. Admitted the columnist: "My efficiency rating took a nose dive. I failed to get dinner started. I got the kids...
...drink a little." Finally, here is Chick Swallow, balding and growing a pot, writing: "The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds-they mature slowly." And Nickie, dreamer of superior dreams, goes his melancholy way from a failure as a rookie policeman to driver for the Tidy Didy diaper service...