Word: dildo
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...Novelists are exploring ever more intimately, not to say enviously, the wondrous achievements of recognized bedroom supermen. In fact, everyone-heroes, authors, readers-seems to be getting rather exhausted. Perhaps that is why so many novels this season deal with sex in its most mechanized and dehumanized form. The dildo is the feature; everybody, apparently, uses an artificial penis, or else needs one badly...
...rose over the spruce-covered Newfoundland hills one morning last week, the tiny (34-ton) whaler Arctic Skipper put out from the weathered jetty at Dildo and chuffed at a steady six knots down Trinity Bay. Deck hands were just finishing their breakfast of fried eggs, sausage and coffee in the tiny galley when a lookout cried: "Pothead!"† Captain Iver Iversen rang the engine signal. As the Skipper picked up speed, the whales sounded. When they came up again, they were heading out to sea, and a deck hand fired a rifle shot to turn them. A red signal...
Meat for the Mink. For generations, Newfoundlanders have gone out in their frail boats to hunt the potheads, which pursue squid into Trinity Bay. It was a haphazard venture until Norwegian Captain Iversen settled near Dildo in 1946 and opened a factory to render blubber and process the greasy meat prized by mink ranchers for the gloss it gives to the animal fur. To increase the whale catch, he raised money for the Arctic Skipper and a sister ship, Arctic Venture, to go farther out into the bay and herd more potheads shoreward...
Fourth-generation proprietor of Dildo Cay (pronounced key) and its salt works, Child-of-Nature Hayden parries civilized Miss Carroll's feral advances with reels of mumbo jumbo about the futility of woman's existence on the desolate cay. When he finally weakens, the best he can offer is: "We'd better fish...
...James Stewart. Biggest leading man in Hollywood (6 ft. 4 in., 212 lb.), he is taller than Joel McCrea or Gary Cooper, an inch taller than Fred MacMurray. Hayden's smooth job of acting in Virginia made him a star. His next picture, with Dorothy Lamour, will be Dildo Cay. Scene: a desolate island in the West Indies...