Word: disneying
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...Disney World is a prosperous entertainment resort boasting four theme parks, 17 hotels and thousands of employees. Harvard is a prosperous educational institution boasting an undergraduate college, 11 graduate schools, 12 Houses and thousands of students. Michael Eisner is the ambitious, intimidating and fabulously wealthy CEO of the Walt Disney Company, infamous for his dispute with former executive Jeffrey Katzenberg. Larry Summers is the ambitious and intimidating University president in charge of Harvard’s fabulously rich endowment, infamous for his dispute with perhaps-soon-to-be-former professor Cornel West. Everything at Disney and the surrounding area costs...
Tourists flock to Disney, much as they flock to Harvard. Families from around the world save up for years to take their children to Disney World or send them to Harvard. Both groups are unable to leave with purchasing souvenirs—from either the Coop or from one of the hundreds of Disney gift shops placed approximately 50 feet apart. Tourists at Disney eagerly snap photos of Cinderella’s Castle and chipmunks Chip and Dale. Tourists at Harvard eagerly snap photos of Widener Library and feisty squirrels that seem to have pranced right out of Snow White?...
...course, tourists at Harvard get lost as much as tourists at Disney do. I often find myself approaching confused visitors in the Yard, armed with a two-finger point in the right direction (so as not to offend those of a foreign culture) and the Vaseline smile I learned while working at Disney. Crimson Key members, with their syrupy pleasantness, would fit in quite well at Disney. Clad in their bright red frocks for Freshman Week, the Crimson Key are as unmistakable as an army of Brazilian tourists in matching fluorescent yellow t-shirts marching through Disney, their leader bouncing...
Unfortunately, there are fewer rides at Harvard than at Disney. The subway, though, comes close. The first time I rode the T, in fact, the Disney-fied part of my brain was expecting a simulator. The spooky Widener of yesteryear could be our Haunted Mansion (hey, they’ve already added a turnstile) and the Quincy House elevators make a convincing Tower of Terror. Tomorrowland is represented by the Science Center and the distant and alluring Quad is Frontierland. The fake brick and simulated history of Liberty Square makes way for the real and dangerously uneven brick sidewalks...
Tourists gather to see their favorite movies come to life in Disney parades, while Harvard students gather to see their favorite drag queens come out in Hasty Pudding parades. You can try your hand camping at Fort Wilderness or outside Mass. Hall. On Main Street U.S.A. at the Magic Kingdom, a special vent blows the aroma of freshly baked cookies at passersby, while passing by the Garage on Mount Auburn Street I am usually confronted by a not-as-enticing stench of chowder and beer. Atmospheric music is more common at Disney than at Harvard, but the deafening bass heard...