Word: doctor
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Introduction to Ol' Blue Eyes 101, a 70-year survey examining the theme "Growth: how to achieve and do it properly." No reading, but extensive listening to records required. Lecturer: Frank Sinatra, Sh.D. (doctor of showbizology). Last week some 400 students turned up at the Yale Law School auditorium to hear the Chairman of the Board deliver that class-by-himself course. Asked to speak on personal achievement, Sinatra responded characteristically to protesters critical of his appearance at South Africa's Sun City resort five years ago: "I'll go anywhere I want to go, anytime I want...
After a little while--it seemed like forever--some doctor, probably only an intern, who didn't even have the decency to hang a comforting, prestigious diploma on the wall of his office, took me to the operating room, probably disinfected with Lysol, and sewed the detached attachments back on to my torso--probably with an old knitting needle and a piece of string he found on the floor...
...also know this guy who had a friend who spent so long in the waiting room that he missed his own graduation and they couldn't even figure out what was wrong with him when they finally saw him. Then just a few months later he went to a doctor in private practice who knew instantly that he had been run over by a freight train. You do not hear stories like that from people who were smart enough to get decent medical care in the first place...
Actually, I figured out why UHS is so cheap. It is because they are so cheap. A doctor who will see a walk-in patient and not hand him a $75 medical bill and harass him 'til he's paid it just isn't a very good doctor. If the UHS doctors were good, they could charge a lot more and they would be too busy to let anyone get away with just walking in any time...
Frankly, I do not care to be lumped in with the type of people who have to go to UHS. So the next time my roommate tears off any significant portion of my body, I'm going to wait until I can see a real doctor, because when I park next to the expensive cars outside his expensive office I will know deep down that I'm headed for some quality medical attention...