Word: dog
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...economy rebounded this decade, many executives began to wonder if they had gone too far. Introducing dog-eat-dog values into corporations that continue to prize the organization over the individual generated worker dissatisfaction. Trying to rebuild loyalty and decrease turnover, companies like Canon, Kintetsu and Fujitsu have altered or scrapped performance-based pay and reinstated seniority as a determinant of salaries. Trading house Mitsui last year reopened five dorms for single employees--at a cost of nearly $1 million annually. "We're hoping that group residence will nurture communication and interpersonal skills in our new young hires," says Mitsui...
While $12 million may not sound like much to you and your hedge-fund bonus, remember that in dog dollars that's $84 million. People are calling me the Bill Gates of dogs, but that doesn't even begin to capture it. Yes, I'm the richest dog in the world, but the second richest dog in the world has zero dollars...
Second, I'm starting a very small production company so we can finally get some decent dog movies out there instead of this junk with Cuba Gooding Jr. If I see one more mutt that overcomes the odds to become a firehouse dog or a shepherding dog, I'm going to barf up my food and not eat it afterward. I've got some feelers out for some scripts with dog antiheroes, someone cool who loves his pups but has to kill people who harbor the pirated DVDs he sniffs out. Because it's what he's been trained...
...What would he pee on? What would he chase as he ran around in circles? If he saw another guy on a leash, what metric would he use to decide whether to fight him or sniff his rear end? Can he really taste the difference between organic and nonorganic dog food? Do squirrels have a filet-mignon section? I need to endow some chair to study this stuff...
...trick to getting the most out of my cash is to make it work for me. Once I set up some kind of foundation--something simple, like Dogs Are People Too, Only Better--I figure lots of sucker humans like Leona who've been burned by human relationships will pour cash in. I take out some ads, like "This Dog Will Be Put to Sleep This Weekend Unless You Send Me $500," and in four months that $12 mil is $24 mil, and I've got my nose 12 deep in Pomeranian rump...