Word: dog
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...likely appointment as the new Pasha of Middle East Peace, I'd like to pass on to him an old Jewish tale that I heard from a western diplomat who spent a frustrating year dealing with the Israelis and Palestinians. It's the story of the Baron and his dog...
...buds came just a few days into the trip. The stretch of cramped stalls, many lacking stools for their customers, hardly seemed a serious challenge or even a promising venue for a sanitary meal. This was nowhere near a level playing field. After all, a $2 street-cart hot dog in the U.S. isn’t expected to compete with a meal cooked by Wolfgang Puck...
...culture, this is the hate that dare not speak its name. Consider as evidence the best-seller lists, which are crowded with odes to mutts by philosophers and poets. Admitting to anything less than worshipping my dog will lump me with--heaven forfend--the cat people. The cult of the caninophiles does not allow for defection. Dog lovers will remind me that he has given me many things, not least among them undying loyalty. I know that. I even admit he has helped equip me for the trials of parenthood, not least among them the manual handling...
...possible my love for him will return. It may take a Lassie moment in which he saves my child from a grizzly, but such an encounter is not so likely in New Jersey. In the meantime, he persists. The dog follows me like a bad smell, settling at my feet as I read my child a bedtime story, panting by my knee as I cook my daughter's dinner. Dog lovers would call it unconditional love. They're wrong. A dog's love comes with a lengthy prenup: vet bills when it gets diarrhea; peroxide baths when it gets skunked...
...know what they say in Sicily: if you want to kill a dog, you don't cut off the tail, you cut off the head...