Word: dole
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Beginning next year, Clinton (or Bob Dole) will no longer be able to say, "Gee, I didn't want to fund this or that ridiculous giveaway, but it was part of an important larger bill I just couldn't reject." A tough President will be able to nix $1.4 million for a National Swine Research Center, or $1 million to study the brown tree snake, which is found only on Pacific islands, or other millions of dollars for, well, the list is endless. This is how it will work...
...Senate also turned back a similar attempt to dismantle the program on a 61-to-35 vote in February, albeit after some more conventional politicking--a deft Bob Dole maneuver. The majority leader--cum--presidential candidate pushed through a measure that earmarked $200 million to help clean up the Everglades by purchasing adjacent cane fields and retiring them from production. That placated colleagues concerned about the impact of sugar farming and made it easier for them to perpetuate price supports...
...Dole in Floridian shorts. President Clinton in jogging nylons. Maybe Congress should change the presidential age requirement from 35 to 21. At least then we wouldn't be subjected to aging legs...
...there should be more critical criteria. Yes, Bob Dole is old, but can't we prove his health with his last physical report? Or his ability to walk? And we know Bill Clinton goes jogging; isn't that enough? Do we really have to endure seeing body parts that were taboo a century ago on the pages of respectable newspapers...
...Dole should follow Clinton's lead and go on national television to prove his fitness: perhaps a dancing competition to Lawrence Welk. And President Clinton should stick to sweatpants. Once these men cover themselves with clothes and not just rhetoric, then we can judge their more intellectual attributes. Until then, we're waiting for them to truly launch their campaigns within the covers of Runner's World or GQ. Arsenio Hall and Larry King, you haven't seen anything...