Word: dorksworth
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...evil scheme of Dr. Dorksworth, as I call him, has borne fruit in the form of hundreds of unhappy and brain-addled Harvard seniors. You can spot them wandering around the campus like shell shocked World War I soldiers, glancing about furtively and occasionally throwing themselves behind some tree or bush after sighting a thesis advisor on the loose in the Yard. They are pale, out of shape, dazed, confused and, having perfected their procrastination techniques, often know a great deal about the minute details of the O.J. Simpson saga. When two get together they will in fact often...
...thesis has wrecked my senior year. I don't go to play or concerts or hang out with my friends; I just obsess about writing a semi-coherent theory chapter that will enable me to graduate. This is a sorry situation indeed. It must be avoided in the future; Dorksworth's legacy must be destroyed. I would suggest an immediate ban on thesis-writing, with suitable economic safeguards for those vendors of acid-free paper and laser printing who make a living off the hapless seniors...
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