Word: dormcest
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...Surprisingly, "dormcest" has yet to find its way to the FDO's guide to "The First Undergraduate Year at Harvard." Nonetheless, upperclassmen jump at the opportunity to caution weary first-years of its dangers. Roopal B. Patel '03 recalls her First-Year Urban Program experience. "The very first day of FUP, we engaged in some ice-breaking activities in small groups. One of the FUP leaders, Greg Feldman, among the extensive wisdom he passed along, explained the hazards of dormcest. He summed it up in one simple rule: 'you must cross two exit signs before you hook up with somebody...
...Feldman '00 makes a good point. In fact, dormcest has many drawbacks: self-isolation, broken hips as a result of too much booty 'cause it's so damn close and that post-break-up-eye-contact awkwardness. But on the other hand, the benefits: massive quantities of sexual gratification, not having to slip into a pea coat to see the honey, scoring with "the girl next door," playing "domestic partners" not to mention massive quantities of sexual gratification. While this steamy temptation has its faults, through the years many have looked the other way and sauntered boldly to the room...
...Although Harvard keeps no written records of dormcest, one collection of first-years has made a lot of noise this year that would potentially break century old-records. Ranking last in freshman intramurals, Pennypacker has more than offset that blemish with other extracurricular activities, namely excessive dormcest...
...diagram, shown above, illustrates cases of dormcest, floorcest and even the rare roomcest. In reality, the entire floor "made" the chart in a collective effort, but its production can be attributed to the handy work of two individuals: one with the brains and one with the pen. The genius behind the chart, who wishes to be known only as Jane '03, defensively claims to be no Doogie at all. Instead she has credits tradition as her inspiration. "One day I was in the FDO and I was looking through a Harvard alumni magazine. There was an article about...
...Goodheart continued to explain the signology of such a sex chart-specifying varieties of dormcest by a series of lines and symbols. In the Pennypacker '03 version, an adaptation of the Canaday '89 original, straight lines represent current relationships. Dashed lines stand for hook-ups, lines with Xs through them for broken relationships and dotted lines represent relationships mysteriously labeled "other," whatever that means. With such ornate penmanship, Jane's roommate Lucy '03 crafted the chart complete with color-coding, a legend and quotes from proctor Chris. Jane declares the chart "is absolutely true," but admits there are some inside...