Word: driver
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...Bishaq was also a terrible driver. We hit trees, bushes, berms, several other cars, and even a barn door. He got lost frequently - not a happy situation in the desert, and one he often prolonged by taking most of his directions from pre-schoolers. We also had to backtrack several times to retrieve washing or a suitcase he forgot. And besides the guinea fowl, he squashed a dog, grazed a camel, thwacked a goat, blatted a pigeon and sucked a rare-looking green finch into the grill...
...driver, but Bishaq was also a truly rotten human being. He enjoyed insulting refugees, whom he claimed were "lazy" and "naughty" and whom he would taunt by slowing down as though to offer a ride, only to refuse when they asked. Once, when a family asked us to take their shaking, malarial father to hospital, I agreed, only to be overruled by Bishaq who insisted the decision was his alone. Another day, I caught Bishaq poking and laughing at a mentally disturbed...
...chastised me constantly for being in such a hurry. "I've never met someone so busy," he would say. "It's not good. You should never hurry a driver. You should leave timings to God." When I replied that God and I had different deadlines, and that anyway I wasn't a believer, that only confirmed Bishaq's low opinion of me. After that, my every request to speed up or please, please skip just one meal was met by his invoking my "godlessness...
...convinced that Bishaq's catalogue of sins were an open and shut case, I sought out the village chief and asked him to adjudicate. I told my story with quiet confidence. Bishaq told his - which seemed to hinge entirely on his statement that he was merely "a simple driver...
...lost. The chief chided me for my flurry and bustle, saying I should learn from the serene and conscientious example set by my driver. As punishment, he ruled I would sleep once again in the road. In a concession to my pleas of being in a hurry, he added Bishaq and I would continue on our way at 4 a.m. Naturally, the next morning Bishaq, who had partied into the wee hours with yet more family and friends, was two hours late. And he grinned all the way to Ndjamena...