Word: drunks
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...Cross base in this violence-torn Mexican city is a warning of impending tragedy. The first responders on call on this particular night had already seen plenty of action: a man with a bullet embedded in his skull; a beaten corpse dumped on a street corner; a blood-soaked drunk who tried to pull a policeman's gun from his holster. But the worst had been waiting until last. Someone was calling in from the middle of a firefight raging in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of town. Several men had been shot, said the hysterical caller, and were...
...that somehow pirates came back. Someone gave Don Imus a radio job. When investment banks crumbled, we decided to hand over $700 billion to Henry Paulson, who used to run an investment bank. It was the kind of year when a famous football player could think, Sure, I've drunk a lot and have a loaded gun in my pants, but the music in this club makes me want to put my hands in my pockets and dance...
...some pay, and drive a fancy car.” Nevertheless, Common’s rapping seems practically virtuosic compared to the album’s disappointing guest appearances by Cee-Lo, Chester French, and Kanye West. Kanye’s performance on “Punch Drunk Love” is particularly disappointing. He contributes nothing more than Auto-Tuned crooning and a repetitive chorus that barely qualifies as rhythmic talking. The failure of “Universal Mind Control” goes far beyond monotony and lack of innovation. Common spent decades defining himself as a socially conscious...
...shooting a buffalo: "Killing a large animal inevitably gives me a sense of sorrow. I know it will hit me before it does, the way you go to bed drunk knowing you'll be hungover in the morning. It hurts as I run my fingers through the tangled mane of the buffalo's neck. The animal feels so solid, so substantive ... Seeing the dead buffalo, I feel an amalgamation of many things: thankfulness for the meat, an appreciation for the animal's beauty, a regard for the history of the species and, yes, a touch of guilt...
...combination of Pepcid AC, napping, prayer, self-delusion, and entire bottles of Shiseido concealer. Due to both the rarity of my escapades and the inconvenience of carrying around a pipette and graduated cylinder to measure the miniscule amounts I can drink, I am only slightly more experienced at being drunk than the most sheltered of pre-frosh. Perhaps as a result, every time that I’ve cleared the hurdle of staying awake past pre-festivities, I wake up the next morning to realize that I’ve done something horrific during the actual festivities. Last...