Word: dungeonful
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Trading dorm rooms for dungeons, Febos began to work as a dominatrix, earning $75 an hour (plus tips) to act out sexual fantasies that included various types of role-playing and whipping her clients into shape - literally. Her new memoir, fittingly titled Whip Smart, graphically recounts the physical and emotional trials she faced during her four years in an industry that exists exclusively behind closed doors. Febos talked to TIME about juggling a double life, understanding the power of her own sexuality and the realities of the dungeon world. (Read "The Science of Romance: Why We Love...
...hard was it to balance school and domming? Surprisingly, it wasn't. I mean, in terms of pure time management, I worked less hours at the dungeon than I would have had to in a lower-paying gig. I often did homework at the dungeon. I'd also had practice juggling different lives, seemingly disparate lifestyles; I enjoyed it. The exhilaration of it gave me a lot of energy...
...lawyers, doctors, rabbis and bus drivers. What is it about this world that you think appeals to them? Well, for most of my clients, it wasn't so much the world that appealed to them. For many, it was a very private experience. They were often led to the dungeon by their own desires and fantasies - ones that they didn't feel safe or brave enough to explore or voice in their personal lives. The dungeon felt like a safe haven, their domme a trusted person with whom to explore their obsessions. I think even the fact of it being...
...adjust to normal office life after an experience like that? I didn't. It was miserable, boring, and the pay was abysmal. I quit so fast, and went back to the dungeon for another year...
What kind of advice would you give to women considering a dungeon career? As a policy I try not to give advice to aspiring dommes; if you belong there, you'll find your way. And if the time comes for you to leave, you'll find your way. But prepare for surprises - if you are anything like me, you might catch glimpses of things you weren't expecting in other people and in yourself. Ironically, it can be a humbling experience...