Word: ebert
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...Ebert (trying to tuck himself back into back into his immense sweater): "The only thing that's devastating is Jason's efficiency. I mean, if the New York Islanders had a goalie that played with that kind of intensity, they'd win 10 Stanley Cups. And Steinman uses his star player to drive home the message that in a world as ludicrously violent as ours, the only same thing to do is sit back and laugh in a fit of voyeuristic ecstasy. If you'd loosen your bow tie, you'd realize that...
...Ebert (blowing his nose loudly): "And I think that's funny. How could you not laugh at a world in which the killer can get shot, axed in the head, downed and run over by a bulldozer and still keep on ripping. Jason is the Timex watch of psychopathic killers. Part 5 even pays tribute to Jerry Lewis's touching imitations of spastics by setting up Jason in a mental institution. With this intricate plot twist, he can back has way through orphans, stutters, nymphomaniacs, hicks and all the other people that no one really cares about...
...Ebert: "That, my old friend, we can. And now we're going to give a look at what's coming up in the upcoming weeks, Gene...
...Ebert: "And then Part 10, where he becomes Pope for a month of Vatican vivisection. Filmed in Latin, with English subtitles...
...Ebert: "And at the end of the month, we wrap it up with Part 13: Wrestlemania II, where Jason teams up with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T against the Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, and other of this country's enemies in "The Final War To Settle The Score...