Word: eldrick
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04 believes he has proven that senior fun and thesis writing are not mutually exclusive. Through the dense fog of his phatty blunt, Patel proclaimed, “Life is great. I’ve got no worries. Umm, or thesis…or, ugghh...
...star-studded birthday bash for the wife of a Hollywood producer at a ski resort in Vermont last week, Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04, Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04 and Bailey C. Gonzalez ’04 chatted up Brooke Shields and her infant child. Shields pointed out her baby’s uncanny lack of facial given expressions — due perhaps to the underdeveloped musculature of her 10-month old face — speculating that “it must be due to the baby botox.” The polite giggle...
After a string of 36 straight days of “essences” emanating from the common room of Vito Giuliani Mussolini ’04 and Eldrick Tiger Patel ’04, their tutor has expressed concern about their mental health. In an unprecedented medical miracle, Mussolini and Patel have discovered the cure for mental health problems, which apparently involves a strict regimen of Febreze, lots of ventilation, wet towels under all doors and a strategically placed air purification device...
...name: Look, Tiger is fine if you're 10 or even 24. But at some point you've got to revert to Eldrick. There's no dignified way to make your way through middle age with a handle that encourages people to pour you a glass of milk and cut your meat for you. Need proof? Ask Fuzzy...