Word: elephantic
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Baaron B. Pittenger, Director of Sports Information, doubted Harvard would field an elephant varsity, and felt "the ponderous pachyderms" of Coach John Yovicsin's football line were the biggest things Harvard could muster.
The boys at Fullerton were alarmed at the number of colleges dropping football for financial reasons and decided that elephant racing would provide a cheaper substitute and prevent "huge stadiums" from lying "idle." Several colleges around the world have been invited to this premier race, including Harvard, Yale, Smith, Oxford...
The whole idea started when an assistant dean circulated a model constitution for student organizations and called it the charter of the Elephant Racing Club. Everett Moore, a math senior, quickly formed a club and issued race invitations.
Entry forms, which are available at the CRIMSON, call for information on the disposition of the elephant in question and the brand of peanuts preferred. All entrants must be properly groomed, and toenails must be cut to avoid injury to other racers. All entrants will be insured for $200,000...
The Coast Guard, whose mahout is Lt. Jr. Grade Arthur Moore, is currently the favorite on the basis of three years racing experience (we don't know where, though) on the elephant Whitey.