Word: ely
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Harvard students rarely vote unanimously on any issue, but take a poll the Saturday before Thanksgiving and everyone will agree on the inferiority of the Eli. Even Harvard students who are ambivalent at best about football join in on this one day of the year where we can unrestrainedly express our elitism...
...similar message reads, “We’ll kick your ass today and fire your ass tomorrow,” bearing a melancholy bulldog with a sign “Will bark for fud.” Even the most die-hard Harvard fan cannot deny that Eli does pretty well in the real world, for example, in running for president. As much fun as it is to believe that we are in essence, better than our counterparts at Yale simply by virtue of our being Harvard students, these shirts make us look delusional, even bitter...
...given up more yards than any team in the Ivies, including 344 to Dartmouth, 253 to Columbia and 277 to Penn. Though Yale is nearly as bad, Harvard’s smaller receivers will not be able to exploit Yale’s lack of size like the bigger Eli targets...
...nature to win at anything, let alone a football game. Indeed, a shade of cruelty surely lurks in the souls of the horde of Harvard undergraduates who will pack into chartered shuttles tonight and tomorrow to witness the bulldogs being brutalized. Wearing shirts that point out just how much Eli sucks, while the accuracy of such observations is beyond doubt, is something akin to boasting about how much taller you are than your 10-year-old sister...
Still, duty calls: The pesky safety-schoolers insist once again on challenging our obvious might, and a crimson campus rises to denounce its mewling foes. It won’t be as exciting, perhaps, as beating a real team, but if we don’t make Eli smile weakly through his tears at our merciful promise not to thrash him again for a full year, who will...