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...Either way, it will end with the River Run, in which you and your blockmates will take shots at the River Houses and offer up a boat to the river gods in hopes of being placed in Adams. Hope it doesn’t rain, keep away from cops, and bring alcohol or hairspray to ensure your boat catches on fire. The next morning you’ll eagerly await your housing decision—try not to slam the door if you get placed in Currier...
...Predictions: You will forget to coordinate with your roommates and end up hosting 7 pre-froshes. You will hopelessly try to convince your blockmates that Dunster isn’t so bad. You will hookup with a pre-frosh at Mather Lather and you’ll both end up with creepy rashes. You’ll go to UHS, and she’ll go to Princeton...
...end is near! As the sun finally begins to peek out from behind the clouds, you will concentrate much less on studying than you did during last reading period. You may even succumb to the upperclassmen’s belief that reading period could be more aptly named “drinking period...
...Later in the day, you’ll attend “Sex Signals,” a mandatory improvisational (comedy?) show about sex in college. It’s actually quite enjoyable and funny, but suddenly turns serious at the end with a friendly reminder that date-rape...
...avoid the chaos and long lines, it’s important to strategize: Find out when the big, intro lecture courses end in Sanders Theater next door (specifically: Ec 10, and Life Sci 1A), and don’t touch Annenberg with a 10-foot-pole for the following half-hour. Arriving at meals seven minutes before the dining hall closes also works well, though if you tend to run late, this can lead to missed dinners, perpetual hunger, and multiple trips to ‘Nochs for pizza...