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Ladies and gentlemen, I read the newspapers. I know what this new health care thing is really about. Go ahead, read to the bottom: there’s a section at the end that they’ve been trying to hide, from all of us. I call it TTOTS:  The Tax On Tanning Salons. What Obama didn’t tell you is that the next time I take the ferry to Staten Island, hang a left on Father Capadano Boulevard, get a slice at Gino’s, and then get my weekly...

Author: By Mark J. Chiusano, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Tanning on Campus: Love It | 4/15/2010 | See Source »

...these people there too, which was funny, as if they didn’t know they had just opened a Sun-tastic in the Garage. I was like, guys, I’m in college, I can’t afford the high-end stuff, but let’s be real—some of these people looked like they could splurge...

Author: By Mark J. Chiusano, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER | Title: Tanning on Campus: Love It | 4/15/2010 | See Source »

...dusk fell on Wednesday, 10 remaining humans readied themselves behind their fortification in Kirkland courtyard. The zombies rose from their graves, craving human flesh. The end was near- the final showdown between good and evil, the living and the dead. Would the zombies conquer? Or would any humans escape their bloodthirsty attacks unscathed...

Author: By Stephanie E. Herwatt, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: Humans Prevail in Kirkland Humans vs. Zombies Game | 4/15/2010 | See Source »

...These were two of the most paranoid weeks of my life,” said Randle, but both survivors said it was worth it, for they were able to defeat the zombies in the end...

Author: By Stephanie E. Herwatt, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: Humans Prevail in Kirkland Humans vs. Zombies Game | 4/15/2010 | See Source »

...end of the day, it was all worth it. The humans lived to see another...

Author: By Stephanie E. Herwatt, CONTRIBUTING WRITER | Title: Humans Prevail in Kirkland Humans vs. Zombies Game | 4/15/2010 | See Source »

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