Word: englandisms
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First, y’all ain’t nice. Perhaps the cold weather prevented the youngsters of New England from learning proper manners, but something about this area of the country has caused an entire population to morph into curse-wielding morons. Just two hours in Harvard Yard—where one will likely hear “pisser” or “faggot” abounding amongst other disgusting words and mannerisms—is enough to make you yearn for old-fashioned Southern decorum...
Next there’s the politics. New England politicians are no more principled than other politicians just by virtue of being in an area of the country that has falsely assumed an identity of progressivism. It is awfully strange that Boston, which prides itself on blue liberalism, is basically a segregated city. Don’t believe me? Take a walk through any Boston public school and then head a few miles south towards Roxbury...
...lastly, there are the famed sports teams of New England. To put it bluntly: they suck. The Celtics have reached such an astounding level of crapitude that I would wager Paul Pierce contemplates skipping practice every day of the year. As for the Patriots, was anybody outside of New England upset when they blew the AFC championship game back in January...
...sound like I’m unnecessarily bashing New England, perhaps it’s because I arrived at Harvard somewhat taken aback that my Texas roots made me an enemy. I was initially stoked for leaving my Dallas residence for an area of the country that I thought was a haven of tolerance and liberalism. I was shocked, however, at the number of “I’m sorry’s” that I received upon telling people I came from Texas. Not only was I surprised, but I was offended that my entire state...
...farewell, New England. And before we part ways I must ask of you two small favors. First, please secede in a non-violent manner, after I graduate. And second—since you are so smart—please find a way to take New Jersey with...