Word: englishness
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Dates: during 1980-1989
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Impeded at times by a fairly lame English translation of Da Ponto's libretto by Andrew Porter (I mean, would Susanna really call Figaro a "blockhead" in the eighteenth century?), it is Mozart in the end who gives us the most aural pleasure. Who can resist the remarkable closing scene of The Marriage of Figaro, in which Figaro and Susanna, the Count and Countess Almaviva, Marcellina and Bartolo and all other cast members join together in praise of love and happiness? It's a scene not to be missed, confirming Mozart's brilliance in choral writing and the Lowell House...
More than that, however, these incidents illustrate a fundamental problem with the English language: there is no word which adequately fills the gap between "girl" and "woman." As a result, I inevitably make a fool of myself in the course of conversation when I need to refer...
Unfortunately, there is no English counterpart to "guy," save "gal." "Gal" sucks. Conjuring up the image of a Nebraska cow-milker in overalls doesn't go very far in the Northeastern liberal boutique we know and love...
...only lasting solution, then, is to invent some new words. I have contacted the English Department several times for this purpose, but they have been completely unresponsive. The administration at least called me back, pledging to appoint a committee to look into the matter...
...have actually come up with more than 500 possible go-betweens. Sometimes I sit up late at night, eat pretzels, drink Cream Soda and allow my mind to ponder the outer limits of the English language...