Word: eo
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...Crimson press said, ineffable charm, five minutes on the telephone, and an ungodly amount of good fortune landed me and my best girl two complimentary passes to EPCOT, and consequently, Captain EO, that aforementioned multi-media minotaur with the legs of Thriller and the horns of Daddy Zoetrope...
Jackson, as Captain EO, crash lands his ship on a hostile planet, and it's a high-volume, high-speed, high-powered moment, though it borrows a lot from the Rebel Death Star raid in Star Wars...
...Captain EO kicks into gear--Not that it doesn't land running to begin with--when Anjelica Huston takes the screen as the B-Bad to the B-Bone Evil Queen. She's amazing. Or rather, it's amazing...
...Jamma of Aliens, Linda Blair--or like a Heavy Metal album cover, or maybe Charlotte of Charlotte's web keye-up on Benzedrine, she hovers suspended in a junkyard web, hissing threats to Michael Jackson, clicking her Ultra-Nails at the camera. The best 3-D moment in Captain EO comes when the Queen unravels her armor-plated crab claws and practically, you know, picks yer nose. It's great. It's, uhh, disgusting...
...approximately a quarter of an hour running time, Captain EO seems to go by in the blink of an eye. And I had an urge to see it again, to stay-put right where I was. But the usherettes usheretted my date and me outside, Michael Jackson "ooo!" -ing on the muzak overhead, and I managed to smuggle out a pair of purple wrap-around 3-D glasses. And I'm wearing 'em right...