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...couple years off any poor pup's life. And "The Bells," especially, is a terrific way to round off your Poeportion. Find yourself getting sleepy? Little weak? Sorta drowsy? Recite "The Bells" aloud into a tape deck, pop your recording into an industrial strength ghetto blaster, and let 'er rrrrrip, full volume, for dozing neighbors. Run-DMC's got nothin' on Poe... though they might make a mean team: "The TIN-too-NAB-yoo-LAY-shun of duh BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS BELLS! HUNH...
...Administration also agreed to allow 25 Soviet spies--er, diplomats--slated for expulsion to stick around at least until their fates can be discussed at the Iceland meeting...
...years, the travails of Stephen Jay Gould and his quest to explain the history of the world--and his role in it--appear under the chapter heading Science B-16. Walter J. Kaiser '54 was supposed to resume his biennial journey through Elizabethan England yesterday accompanied by his ne'er-do-well sidekick Robert Watson, in an adventure entitled Literature and Arts A-40, "Shakespeare." Or so Courses of Instruction led the unwary reader to believe. But Watson was not granted tenure by the University and will henceforth be frolicking in another forest...
...Er, she's, uh, not very well," the correspondent would reply...
There was one, er, problem, Blay-Miezah told his investors. To gain access to the money, he had to fulfill a number of complicated conditions that included presenting a specially numbered diplomatic passport to the banks and cutting deals with certain tribal chiefs. Outside funds were necessary to pay expenses incurred as Blay-Miezah wheeled and dealed to get to the mother lode...