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THERE IS A little-known test that all professors must go through before gaining tenure at Harvard. The test is called the Disinformation Exam...
Question 3 of the Disinformation Exam insures that professors are completely useless in helping students get into the right section...
...professor must also disinform himself of when and where sections meet and must be sure never to attend them. Most of all, however, he must be utterly incapable of running any mechanical equpiment. Question 7 of the Disinformation Exam reads as follows...
...exam awards bonus points for fine arts and VES professors who can abuse the projectionist by yelling "focus" every time a new slide comes up on the screen...
Those whose samples are rejected for any reason, or whose behavior suggests they might have cheated, will be forced to provide a second specimen "under direct observation." Anyone whose urine shows drug traces will be required to return to the bathroom. If the subsequent exam brings positive results, the guilty will be required to undergo counseling. Workers who refuse as a matter ! of principle to submit to testing can be dismissed...