Word: facebooked
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Dates: during 2000-2009
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...into the excitement of being at college and away from your parents. Fill your first days with dozens of info sessions, speeches by campus big wigs, and screenings of Love Story. Remember the four freshman conversation points (name, hometown, dorm, possible concentration) and you’ll increase your Facebook friend count exponentially before the end of your first week...
Perhaps you fancy yourself a maverick or the candidate for change, and are eyeing a seat on the prestigious and influential Undergraduate Council. Lucky for you, we have come up with the perfect campaign strategy to get you there: Step one, launch a “grassroots” Facebook group to get your acquaintances out to the polls. Step two, don a business suit (like a real politician!) and go door-to-door shaking hands and kissing babies. And lastly, hook up with someone at The Crimson—because we call the shots around here! Got that, Flores...
...year from now, as you Facebook-stalk acquaintances from high school to see how they’ve fared away from Mommy and Daddy, your first response is likely going to be “Ew.” Why? Unfortunately for you, and for many an incoming college student before you, the dreaded Freshmen 15 is no fiction. So, take a long look in the mirror, because there’s a pretty good chance your figure won’t be looking this slim—or jacked, depending on your gender—come May. (Actually, come...
...that you’re spending your last days at home kissing fun as you know it goodbye with indulgent self-pity, perhaps rueing your decision to attend Harvard over [insert state school here]. Maybe you’ve desperately sought out all of the Class of 2013 Facebook group members with an affinity for intoxicating substances. Maybe you’ve even created a group called “The Class of 2013 Social Crew...
...Chances are that you’ll never actually party with these people, you’ll regret creating that Facebook group, and you’ll never venture into Boston this year. (If you do, bouncers will laugh in your face as you try to sweet talk your way into bar.) But you will have fun, we promise...