Word: fakeness
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...controlled legislature has responded to the state's woes with protracted arguments about evolution and other Terri Schiavo - style social issues as well as legislation proposing crackdowns on bikers who pop wheelies, students who wear droopy pants and truckers who hang fake cojones on their rigs. It also slashed $5 billion from the state budget. "I just got in an argument about whether we're 50th or 45th in the nation in graduation rates," says Florida house minority leader Dan Gelber. "What a great debate to have...
...change, this might be my year. So I called a person who has vetted vice-presidential candidates for past nominees and asked him to vet me. Because of the sensitive nature of his work, he requested that he remain anonymous-and that I not give him a stupid fake name like Eddie Vetter. Some people learned a different kind of lesson from Watergate...
...That's why I like Rob Kutner. Kutner is a staff writer for The Daily Show, surely one of the most important jobs in fake journalism. He's just written a book called Apocalypse How: Turn the End-Times into the Best of Times. While most creative works about Armageddon (The Day After Tomorrow, Omega Man, The Road) tend to be bummers, heavier on cannibalism than comedy, Kutner's book is a lighthearted romp that looks on the bright side of the end of the world. Yes, it's a shame that a Christian Rapture could teleport all the godly...
...Paris Making eBay Pay for Fakes A French court ruled on June 30 that auction website eBay must pay nearly $63 million to a group of luxury brands, including Louis Vuitton, Dior and Givenchy, after finding that the company wasn't doing enough to deter the sale of fake handbags, perfume and other knockoff goods. Weeks earlier, another French court ordered eBay to pay nearly $32,000 to the luxury retailer Hermès. Meanwhile, in the U.S., eBay awaits a ruling in a similar case brought by jeweler Tiffany...
...9/11 Truth Movement. He and his boss, Governor Paterson, should be lauded for resisting false promises about the country's largest construction site. Their predecessors probably would have addressed the current crisis in confidence about the unfinished (and in many places unstarted) job site with yet another fake ribbon-cutting ceremony...