Word: falk
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...when the hoopla subsides, many families will be left to cope with a host of problems that may catch them by surprise. "Reunion is much more stressful than departure," cautions Meg Falk, deputy director of the Navy's family- support program. Typically, the returning troops will career from euphoria to a baffled recognition that time has not stood still in their absence: children have grown, spouses have become more independent. It's difficult to adjust. "We encourage them to be an honored guest in the home for a while rather than come charging in to take over," says Marine Chaplain...
...Fink, medical director of the Philadelphia Psychiatric Center. "If the marriage was not too good before, the return could precipitate the disruption of the marriage." And even a solid marriage may need to be handled with care. "Re-establishing sexual intimacy can be like going through courtship again," says Falk...
...Some will be tempted to go on spending -- and drinking -- binges. Military and civilian family experts caution that returning warriors may feel dissatisfied with home life. Many will be inattentive to or dismissive of family problems. "People who have been on the battlefront have very nearly faced death," says Falk. "Things that may be important to the family may seem trivial to them...
...mental-health workers to ships coming back from the gulf, counsels patience and tolerance. "We tell them that if their teenager shows up on the dock with long hair and a ring in one ear, that isn't the time to say, 'Hey, what happened to you,' " notes Falk. Many children will have formed deeper bonds with the parent who remained at home and become accustomed, for instance, to the way Dad reads the bedtime story. Sleeping arrangements may have changed: Lana Gorley's two daughters, 10 and 13, got in the habit of sharing their mom's bed while...
...pedestal," Laura Root of Sterling, Ill., is looking forward to the shock of gritty reality: "I can't wait to have a fight and get back to normal." Military support services have moved into high gear to alert families to the dangers lurking ahead. Says the Navy's Falk: "We want them to understand that all this is normal...