Word: fattests
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...millions of people are willing to risk halitosis, or worse long-range health effects, to get rid of their obesity. The U.S. is by far the fattest country in the world, with 54% of the population overweight. If Americans didn't travel overseas, they'd think 200 lbs. was normal. They eat 7% more calories than they did 20 years ago. Even the nation's children, the ones so hyperactive they need Ritalin, are pudgy; 25% of them are overweight. To combat this, Americans, in lieu of exercise, spend $33 billion a year on the diet industry...
Major League Baseball?s umpires have just called themselves out. Fifty-seven of the sports world?s fattest, grumpiest and, by some accounts, blindest men have sent in their resignation from the league, effective September 2. Mind you, it?s not a strike ?- more of a balk. "A strike is a union-sponsored withholding of services," umpires? union head Richie Phillips told the New York Times. "This, in fact, is a resignation of their position and their signing with another corporation to provide services." That "other corporation" was of course tailor-made a few weeks ago for just this eventuality...
DEFLATE THE FATTEST PILLOWS. Social Security was meant to keep the elderly from falling into poverty when they could no longer work, not to plump up an extra cushion under the already well off. Investment banker Peter Peterson proposes paying full Social Security benefits only to those whose income from other sources is $35,000 a year or less. Payments to the better off would be reduced on a sliding scale starting at 7.5%; those with outside income of $185,000 or more would receive only 15% of the Social Security pension that they would qualify for without such...
...Potato Man was all ready to be merry. But instead Chris Farley is gone. So, On Clarence! On Zuzu! On bags full of mail! Go on without me (till Thursday), for Potato must say farewell to one of the fattest, funniest guy ever to grace screens big and little...
...National recognition is always gratifying," I said to Ariel. "And 'Fourth Fattest' does have a nice ring, whether or not they decide to put it on the city-limits signs. Don't worry: I'm sure San Francisco will do better next year than 26th...