Word: feared
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...session, Dr. N departed from the CBT script and suggested I try to visualize the fear as a creature. As soon as he said that, I saw it: a primitive, eyeless monster visible only to me, like the gremlin on the wing of the airplane in The Twilight Zone. When Dr. N took a sip of milk, the creature would reach out and touch the carton. When it touched the carton, I felt the fear...
...making it let go, Dr. N said. Don't let it touch the carton. It took a lot of effort, but I did it. The creature wanted to touch the milk, but if I tried, I could stop it. When I did, the fear went away. I practiced that - letting the creature reach for something, making it stop, making it back away. The better I got at controlling the creature, the easier my phobia was to control. I even talked to it. I asked it what it wanted and why it wouldn't leave me alone. It wasn...
...still living with it. For whatever reason, my treatment has not been successful. I can't always make the fear go away. Maybe that means there's more to the problem than bad wiring. There are feelings down there too - old, dark, unmapped feelings - and I'm going to have to deal with them before the fear leaves me alone. My phobia is a part of me - an ugly part, by the looks of it. I'm going to have to get to know that demon better. Because it's not going to leave till it's good and ready...
...been dubbed Mametspeak. The new Mametspeak is more like Mametshout: thematic statements imposed from on high and delivered with an epigrammatic stun gun. Racism is universal and unavoidable. ("I didn't do anything." "You're white.") Justice is an illusion. ("The legal process is only about three things. Hatred, fear or envy.") Free will is a joke. ("Why does he want to confess?" "All people want to confess...
...second reason is equally significant: the fear of the Palin forces. Intimidated by the rabidness of her supporters, believing that they can't be swayed by facts and worried about getting crosswise with the most highly energized part of the Republican base, McCainworld has shied away from fighting for the soul of the party, instead allowing her version of reality to go largely unchallenged - and her rise to continue unchecked. There was perhaps a related factor: a recent ABC-Washington Post poll found that Republicans regard Palin as the 2012 front runner for their party's nomination and that...